For two weeks na yata akong may abnormal sleeping patterns. And yes, for the first time the reason is I am thinking of someone.
Totoo pala yun na kapag may iniisip kang tao, well plus added certain degree ng reasons mo kung why mo sya iniisip - ay mahihirapan ka lang makatulog.
I experience that for almost 2-3 weeks. I am bothered by some face. Hmmmn. Di ko muna sasabihin dito para sa kaligtasan nya. (LOL) Pero higit sa lahat para sa kanyang peace of mind.
Maintriga na kayo pero di ko talaga sasabihin.
Marami na akong sinubukan, napagtanungan at nahingian ng payo. Pero alas! Meron pinadalang anghel ulit sa akin ang langit. And we have unplanned date last Friday lang. I got some answers to my questions. At may ilan akong isi-share sa buong blogosphere.
1. Yung iniisip kong someone is my type na di ko inaamin sa sarili ko. TMI (Too much information). Hanggang dito na lang.
2. In order para makatulog ako, kailangan kong i-accept and idea na type ko sya.
Thank God. I sleep so well after that night.
But I just declared to the whole universe that I officially like this guy. If kung kailan? Hindi ko alam. Ang alam ko lang I like him. Kung magugustuhan nya ako back? Di ko rin alam. Ayoko ng magoveranalyze. But I am right now right? Someone stop me now. Please. Haha.
Running away from pain...
There are some wisdom that's been shared that night. Thru my friend, I realized that I've been running away from pain for a long time. I never experience it personally on that level na naexperience ng iba. Maybe God wants me to feel it and personally overcome it.
I actually admit that I cannot tolerate pain. Kaya nga, kapag parating pa lang yan, inihahanda ko na ang sarili ko. Pinipigilan ko na. Sabi nga nila prevention is better than cure.
But I often forget the character you gain after feeling it. Hindi naman sa pagiging masokista no, pero most people who experience pain on extreme level are actually people who are stronger now. Kumbaga, naipasa na nila yung level na yun eh. At kapag naulit yun sa iyo, you know better how you'll deal with it.
And I've been running for pain for years. I realized that night, that maybe God has been giving to me my ultimate wish because He wants me first to pass this phase. Parang test lang. To personally overcome pain. At pumasa.
Pain is everywhere. Sa lahat ng area, mga kaibigan, pamilya - andun ang pain. Sana, magawa ko na malagpasan ang pain katulad ng mga kaibigan ko. Akala ko, naexperience ko na ang pain dati...dati....at dati pa. Pero,kung ikukumpara ang napagdaaanan ko sa mga napagdaanan ng mga kaibigan ko, sobrang mani lang yung story ko. Sometimes I use their story para mafeel ko ung state na pinakamasakit. Ayun, nararamdaman ko naman. I learned the lesson din. Kaso lang, minsan tingin ko control freak naman ako. Dahil nga, hindi ko na hinahayaan masaktan ang sarili ko. Lalo na sa lovelife. Ayun, kaya wala akong boypren siguro. Hehe. :D
Is Pain = Boyfriend?
I dont know. Kasi para sa akin. Boyfriend = Love. Haha. So..not applicable.
Pero may kasabihan nga, kung ayaw mong masaktan, wala kang karapatang main-love.
So choose wisely.
My take is...
Type ko itong guy na ito. And yes universe, I'm ready to take the challenge to overcome pain. Game naaa! :)
**thanks sis @romzkee for our fridate. :) You really are God sent angel that night. mwah! :)
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