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Reconciliation to Friendships...one more chance...(haha!)

I have decided to do what is right. And I know thru God's leading, makakayanan ko naman ang lahat ng mga mangyayari sooner. To befriend my long lost missed (special) friend sa community kahit medyo mahirap yun sa parte ko. I'm afraid everything na baka bumalik ako sa devastated state ko. Pero pero parang may bumubulong sa akin na, this time...I will just trust Him and everything would go well. At siguro pikit mata akong susunod sa intuition ko na ito. I think it His leading dahil wala naman akong nakikitang masama na bumalik yung friendship. Yun lang siguro yung fear na...baka hindi ko kayanin... ma-devastate na naman ako sa makikita ko (with his MU). Pero one part of my mind says...hindi na yun mangyayari. Because I have learned my lessons. And lessons should be applied right? Sa totoong buhay. Dahil kung walang application... walang meaning yung lessons na natutunan ko. Di ba?

I missed him na rin. Dahil sinabi ko nga sa kanya na. He became my friend first before anything else...di ba? Nakalimutan ko na kaibigan ko pala sya. I thought noon kasi..habang iniiwasan ko sya, napo-protektaha ko ang sarili ko. Pero sa tingin in one way or the other...alam ko na naapektuhan sya. I felt guilty...because I know He does not deserve that kind of treatment from me.

Umiral na naman ang pusong mamon ko. Hehe...Kahit anong pagmamatigas ko naman. May hangganan naman yun eh. I just thought it more objectively now. Medyo nagsubside na ksi yung feelings...so wala ng dahilan para umiral ang emosyon. Puro emosyon nga ako these past few weeks kaya hayan...hehehe...tama na siguro. Tlaga. Muna. :)


I decided to befriend him again. Dahil alam ko kahit na anong gawin ko. He will be forever be special...kahit mag-level down na yung feelings...naging part na sya ng life ko. Ayoko ng resentments. Life is short. We have different ways to appreciate life. At ayokong maging burden pa ako sa iba. Ayoko na maalala nila ako na nagparamdam ako ng sakit sa knila. I just want to be part of their lives...pero gusto ko maalala nila ako in a different way.

At siyempre ayoko syang pahirapan. Kung gusto nya tlaga si ka-MU nya...I have no reasons not to support him. After all he is my friend. Namaannnnn!!! Kamartiran...Hehe... Pero seriously...it will hurt...pero...that is life. Mawawala din yun...Andyan naman si Lord...I just dont want him to feel na I'm against on what he wants. Buhay nya naman yun. At saka ala naman ako right...Hehe...Oks lang... ;) Natanggap ko na. Totoo?! (Haha!) Oo, totoo. :) Really...tingin ko...I have really move on...Sana magtuluy-tuloy na talaga... ;) (salamat super Lord.... the best ka talaga...)

Yeah it will hurt. Pero ito kasi yung sinasabi ni Lord sa akin noon pa tungkol sa guy the he wants for me. If the guy really likes you..He would let you feel it. At siyempre sasabihin nya yun fearlessly. As in. :)

So it is not really my call. Hintayin ko na lang yung guy na gusto ni Lord na ma-meet ko. *Kilig*.

Habang wala pa. Raket muna ako. Haha!

P.S.
Nga pala..I think he is happy now na bumalik na ung friendship. I'm glad. Wala na rin burden ung heart ko. ;)

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